..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
