I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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