so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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