do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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