I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
