I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
