My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Panties = found
Randomize
