No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just blew my weed a kiss
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
