sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
