i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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