Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize