Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
