I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
