even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
did i walk over a car last night?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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