just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
