I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
