if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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