i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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