Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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