Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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