I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
