google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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