i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
