i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
