i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
