Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
