She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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