So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
