What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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