I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
