Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
