Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
