What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
