So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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