I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
