My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I deserve this hangover.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
