After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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