I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
