I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
