someone owes me an orgasm
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
