he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
not ubering you a puppy
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
