Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
