living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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