What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
