Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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