Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize