Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
