Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize