that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
