Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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