Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
