Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize