That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
