she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
bring money and cleavage
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize