I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
