Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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