Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
