i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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