I just threw up on my dentist
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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