i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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