Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
