talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
