don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
