Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
