I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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