and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
