Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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