Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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