I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
