so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize