She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
